Posts Tagged ‘career coaching’

Brain Coach: Does Optimism Mean You Have to Be Happy All the Time?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

Does optimism mean you have to be happy all the time? As humans we experience a wide range of emotions. On the negative (“minus”) end of the spectrum, those emotions can include worry, fear, anxiety, hate, worry, frustration, bitterness, jealousy. On the positive (“plus”) end of the spectrum, we have love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope, and happiness.

For simplicity’s sake, let’s say that Optimism is the umbrella for emotions that put us into the “plus” category. Can we be in the “plus” category all of the time?

I had a conversation with a fellow coach the other day, and we talked about what it feels like to have that “mountaintop” experience—the feeling you get when you’ve been at, say, a retreat or an amazing conference where you’ve connected with like-minded people who have inspired you. You come away believing that things are possible. That you can do it. That there is hope.

Then I posed the question:

How much of the time do you think we can live in that “mountaintop” space?

What is your answer to that question? 10%? 20%? 30%? 40%? 50%? 60%? 70%? 80%? 90%? 100%?

Our brains look for evidence of our beliefs. If we think the answer is 10%, we will prove ourselves right. If we think the answer is 90%, we again will prove ourselves right.

So back to the question of the day—does optimism mean you have to be happy all the time? What if we can train ourselves to live in the 90th percentile! I am heading there, and live is wonderful from this perspective!

And yes, we will have moments when unwelcome circumstances happen—goals don’t get achieved on schedule, sickness comes, people we love die. (Grief should never be ignored, but it can be wrapped in gratitude and peace.)

Or, on a smaller scale—an email comes that contains words that hurt your feelings, a jealous feeling flashes for a moment when you see someone experiencing the success that you want for yourself, a loved one says something unkind to you.

These circumstances can be wonderful and welcome reminders of where you want your focus to be. When you put your hand atop a hot stove burner, you don’t leave it there. You remove it immediately. Likewise, when you experience the flash of frustration/fear/worry, notice that the “stove is hot” and pull yourself away from it.

Click HERE to access Brain-Based Coaching Tips on Mountain-Top Optimism.

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Brain Coach: Optimism Squared–Span & Subtleties

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

For many years, I wasn’t aware of how “routinized” my ability to worry, catastrophize, and feel guilty had become! It was a habit that I hadn’t realized was part of my daily life. And with every worrisome thought, I caused a chemical release in my system that took me even further into a subtle but impactful state of unsettledness, second-guessing, and insecurity.

I wasn’t a basket case by any means, but I certainly didn’t live with the confidence, freedom, and fun that I live with today. And I can assure you, I am sooooo much happier with my increasing Optimism. It has greatly increased my ability to see options and take action.

And I know the same is true for my colleagues who are on a similar journey. @JamesBeeman @KarolTaylor @BeverlyHarvey @SusanChritton and other fellow Master Brain-Based Success Coaches!

Optimism—Span & Subtleties

I’ve talked about the Speed and Sustainability of Optimism. Here are two more dimensions:

Span: Are there some areas of your life where you’re naturally an Optimist while other areas (a challenging relationship, career success, finances) aren’t as strong?

Subtleties: Or, are there subtle areas of your life that you may not even realize you’re approaching from more of a Pessimistic perspective? Places where you’re 1) resigned, 2) restless, or 3) in a bit of a rut? For instance,

  • The ebbs and flows of business (do you assume “there are just busy times and down times in my business—it’s just part of the cycle, not something I can control”) or
  • Relationships (do you assume “there’s no way I could get business from that person—I’m too small potatoes to work with them”), or
  • Diet/weight loss (if weight loss has been a struggle in the past, do you assume “this is just the way it’s going to be”), or
  • Other everyday circumstances (do you assume, “there’s no way I’ll ever get my email under control”), etc.

Click here for a Coaching Tip to Increase Span & Subtleties of Optimism:

Insights? Actions?

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Brain Coach: Optimism Squared–Speed & Sustainability

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

I’ve been on a journey of becoming more Optimistic over the past few years. I’ll admit that, for many years, I lived with a tendency toward feeling “guilty” and even a bit “fearful” about getting everything done or having the business I needed to make ends meet—I was often the first to:

  • Wonder: “Whew, we made it through last month but I wonder if there will be enough to pay the bills once again next month,”
  • Think: “I must have done something wrong,”
  • Worry: “What will she think of me if I speak my true feelings or don’t agree with her way of thinking?”
  • Question: “Why is that other person having so much success—I’m just as talented! What’s wrong with me?!”

Anybody relating?! As a coach, I KNEW these thoughts were hobbling and not helping.

Neuroscience researcher Shawn Achor notes that when our brains are happy (positive, optimistic), they are 31% more productive than when negative, neutral, or stressed.

 

Optimism Squared

Optimism comes with varying levels and dimensions. Here are two worth considering:

Speed: How quickly can you get to Optimism when you encounter an unpleasant surprise or “bad” news? 5 minutes? 5 hours? 5 days? 5 weeks?

Sustainability: How long can you sustain your Optimism? Does it come in a 90-second wave and then die down, or is it something that is sustained hour in and hour out, day in and day out, regardless of the external circumstances in your life?

 

Coaching Tip for Speed and Sustainability:

1. To increase the Speed of Optimism: Link your optimism to an already-anchored habit in your life—a tip recommended by Stanford psychologist BJ Fogg, creator of www.tinyhabits.com. This anchored habit might be something like drinking coffee or brushing your teeth or using the restroom.

Train yourself to access optimism when you do your anchored habit. For example, “when I drink my morning cup of coffee, I will access my Emotive Optimism for 68 seconds.” (See Rational Optimism and Emotive Optimism tips).

Just as a pianist practices scales and arpeggios in private before performing cadenzas in concert, when we’ve practiced speeding to optimism during non-stressful circumstances, it will be easier to speed to optimism during stressful circumstances.

2. To increase the Sustainability of Optimism: Once you’ve increased your speed to optimism, turn your focus to sustainability. Because the brain loves specificity, give it a goal of being optimistic around an isolated situation for an extended period of time.

For example, “For the next 5 minutes, I’m going to expand my focus around the good things associated with this project (such as, the blog post I’m writing, the phone call I’m having, the bills I’m paying, the dinner I’m cooking).”

If you’ve found this information intriguing, you’ll love the Certified Brain-Based Success Coach Program. Through learning and growing with like-minds, the brain-based techniques are more easily routinized! We have a few spots left in the July 7th cohort!
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Relegated to 2nd Class Success when You’re Carrying a 1st Class Ticket?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

plane-and-ticket2I’m writing this from 30,000 feet, aboard an American Airlines flight as I head to Dallas to see my daughter. I fly First Class whenever I can (the benefits outweigh the cost) but when I went to book the ticket a few months ago, I saw a $169 deal on a seat in the main cabin that was just too good to pass up.

Come travel day, I checked in at the baggage ticket counter and asked the agent what my chances were of getting the sky-miles upgrade I had requested when I originally booked. He said, “You’re second on the list.” I was in an extroverted mood, so I smiled and chatted away with him. He was going to charge me for my two bags until I pleasantly asked him if my Gold or Ruby status didn’t allow me free baggage. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, “You’re Premier as far as I’m concerned.”

I didn’t think much of it as I made my way to security, simply happy to be heading off to see my girl. I figured the odds of getting into First Class weren’t necessarily great, given the small business-class cabin on the old McDonald-Douglas S80 I’d be on.

I made my perfunctory stop at Starbucks for my quad decaf latte (extra foam). I visited the ladies room. I checked the boarding group on my ticket. And finally, I queued up to board the plane. As I handed the gate agent my ticket and inquired, “If I’m waiting to see about an upgrade, should I stay out here in the boarding area?” He looked at my ticket, looked back at me puzzled, and said, “You’re already in First Class. See right here—your ticket says 5B.”

I had been carrying around a
First Class ticket and didn’t even realize it.

Tickled that Life and Love (God, in my book) had allowed me this delightful little surprise, there was a lilt in my step as I walked down the jet way.

Brain Coach Application

Our cerebral cortex, the thinking part of our brain, processes at 2,000 bits of information per second. The unconscious processes an astounding 40 billion bits per second. As Pam Grote writes in her book E-Squared:

“Needless to say, that’s a heck of a lot of reality [to process]. So what do we do? We start screening. We start narrowing down. I’ll take that bit of information over there, and let’s see—this one fits nicely with my ongoing soap opera about the opposite sex. When all is said and down, we’re down to 2,000 measly bits of information. … What we choose to take in is only one-half of one-millionth of a percent of what’s out there.”

At the airport, my brain was busy filtering data, taking in what I was expecting. My brain told me, “You’re in the main cabin.” I fixated on what the first agent said early in our conversation, “you’re second on the list.” And so I didn’t even look at my ticket when he handed it to me.

shutterstock_184497443Unbeknownst to me, the agent had upgraded me after our pleasant exchange about baggage charges. That was the reason for the twinkle in his eye when he handed me the ticket. I just assumed he was turning on his customer service charm.

As I settled into my comfy leather seat, the “surprise ticket” sunk in further, and I quickly saw the analogy to life. How often are we meant to experience delights, ease, and successes, but we don’t even see what is in front of us because we’ve primed our brains to only look for second-class results!

Your turn!

  • What if you’ve (metaphorically) got a first-class ticket but are expecting second-class success?
  • Are you expecting less?
  • Are you assuming, “it won’t work out?”
  • Do you think, “Things like that don’t happen for me?”
  • What would it take to shift your focus and widen your aperture?
  • How would life be different if you primed your brain for a First Class life?
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Brain Coach: Rational vs. Emotive Optimism

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

Earlier, you heard about “Rational Optimism”—how we can lean toward thinking about positive outcomes for the situations in our lives. This is the cognitive (thinking) side of Optimism.

But Optimism isn’t just a cognitive process, as in telling yourself, “this will all work out.” It’s also an emotional process. Unless we truly FEEL the peace, the love, the abundance—deep in our soul—with a sense that “this will all work out,” we won’t have the fullest benefit of Optimism.

The counterbalance to Cognitive Optimism is Emotive Optimism. When we have Emotive Optimism, we’ll have “happy” neurochemicals  (serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin) floating through the brain and body. These neurochemicals support our ability to think more clearly, creatively, and strategically. And, that sets us up to act more confidently, with greater certainty, and with more constancy.

One of my mentors, Dr. Donald Johnson at the Applied Neuroscience Institute, notes that using positive thinking to navigate a challenging situation is a diluted process. Without positive emotions, we handicap ourselves. I liken it to swinging a baseball bat with just one hand—you’re out of balance and lose a great deal of power.

With both Rational AND Emotive Optimism, we eliminate cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the feeling that things don’t quite add up. . . that you are trying to convince yourself of something while another part of your brain (or heart, or gut) just isn’t buying it. Cognitive dissonance leads to hesitation, procrastination, and pessimism.

Coaching Tips for Emotive Optimism:

1. Evaluate your optimism – if it is limping along, chances are it’s only Rational optimism and not both Rational and Emotive-based.

2. Explain to your brain that you are giving it permission to have an easier time, and that you will do this by inviting it to be washed and refreshed with “happy” neurochemicals, such as dopamine and oxytocin. (Our brains like to know what we’re up to!)

3. Be compassionate with your brain—it’s not used to being happy when it’s accustomed to be restless or upset about unwelcome circumstances. Tell your brain, “We’re just going to experiment for a bit with some new ways of handling this.”

4. Access Emotive Optimism with feelings that are proven to elevate mood. The core positive emotions are gratitude, peace, hope, love, and joy.

5. Identify a workable formula for accessing your gratitude (or peace, hope, etc.). This might be pausing to take 3 deep breaths and then visualizing the most beloved person in your life. Or it might be putting on a favorite, upbeat song. You decide. Be specific.

6. Revel in it. Two seconds of feeling a positive emotion isn’t nearly as effective as a full 68 seconds. Neuroscientist Dr. Jeffrey Fannin notes that, at 68 seconds, you actually create momentum and experience wavelength changes in the brain.

7. Spend (much) more time accessing and reveling in positive feelings than negative feelings. As human beings, we can be masterful at sustaining negative emotions (frustration, disappointment, fear). Set a goal of being just as masterful at making positive emotions the default for your mood.

Enjoy! And if you’re interested in learning more, check out the Certified Brain-Based Success Coach Program. The next cohort begins July 7th!

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The Internal Career Coach: The Employee Who’s Afraid to Talk to the Boss

By llehman | No Comments »
A group of career coaching colleagues and I had a discussion recently about what prevents employees from being proactive about managing their careers with their current employer. One theme that surfaced quickly was…

The employee’s fear of talking to the boss!

Those fears can be founded in a number of assumptions, opinions, and/or facts. For example, fear of:

Damaging trust—the employee may wonder…

  • If the boss will think the employee is unappreciative of all the boss has done for her
  • If the boss will be angry or retaliatory because the employee is the boss’s “golden goose” as a key producer
  • If the boss will be frustrated if the employee has been in her role a short time, such that the boss will have to spend more time training someone new and bringing a replacement up to speed

Raising red flags—the boss may wonder…

  • If the employee is fully engaged and giving his all
  • If the employee is still the right fit for the job
  • If the employee takes on new responsibilities to add to his portfolio of skills, will he still have time to do all of his regular work duties?

Creating suspicions—team members may get wind of the conversation and then wonder…

  • If the employee is really bought into the team’s success, or
  • Whether the employee is jockeying for position to “one-up” them or get ahead of them

As a career coach, what should you do with all of these fears—some of which may be well-founded?!

Two Quick Tips:

  • First, avoid tackling the fears and problem-solving how to remove them. Fear is a natural response in human beings, and it will easily resurface in a new form once the employee has left your coaching call. 
  • Second, focus on “flourishing.” Coach your employee/client out of fight-flight mode and into calm-connect/peace-possibility/flow-flourish mode. From this stance, your employee will be equipped with additional brainpower to vision, problem solve, and take action.

If you’re interested in deepening your competencies in this area, check out the Certified Career Management Internal/Corporate Coach Program… Our next class starts June 16th!

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Brain Coach: Why Optimism Gets a Bad Rap

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

Optimism often gets a bad wrap. Many people think if you are an optimist, you have your head in the clouds and you are oblivious to reality. Many people prefer to say “I’m a realist.” (Few people would openly admit, “I’m a pessimist!”)

Shawn Achor, author of The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness, offers an interesting insight on “Realists.” He notes that realism is what happens BEFORE you decide to be pessimistic or optimistic. In other words:

  • Realism LABELS what the facts are.
  • Pessimism or Optimism then CHOOSES how to interpret and respond to the facts.

Achor’s research noted that Pessimists view stress as a problem (something bad), overwhelming, or out of their control. They assume “it won’t work” or “it can’t be done” or “this is a mess.”

Conversely, Optimists view stress as an opportunity to stretch their creativity, leverage their strengths, and increase their capabilities. They assume the event can make them better—they see possibilities, come up with creative solutions, and execute on their plans with a sense of adventure and resiliency.

Achor observed that, in a Zurich-based bank during the time of the banking crisis, Optimists saw:

  • A 23% improvement in health-related symptoms (backaches, headaches, fatigue, energy levels at work)
  • A 30% improvement in productivity over the group that saw stress as a problem
  • An increase in their happiness levels

Either style—pessimism or optimism—is a deeply entrenched habit with tons of “super-highway” neuronal networks wired into our brains. The good news is that, regardless of our age, neuroplasticity assures us we can grow toward optimism.

Coaching Tip: Formula for Rational Optimism

1. Consider a situation that’s been heavy on your mind.

2. Label the facts of the circumstances. Just the facts. Avoid emotions.

3. Identify something you’re deeply grateful for (it doesn’t need to be related to the circumstances). The gratitude helps release neurochemicals in your brain and body that will boost your creative thinking.

4. Consider the best-case scenario—how you’d like things to unfold.

5. Ask yourself, “What would it take to make that happen?” And, “What would it take to minimize the risks of it not happening?”

6. Control the controllables: “What can I personally control to influence that outcome?”

7. Spend (much) more time thinking about/taking action toward what you want to have happen than what you don’t want to have happen.

Share your insights! Actions! Commitments! And if you’re interested in learning more, check out the Certified Brain-Based Success Coach Program.

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Brain Coach: How long does it REALLY take to create a habit?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

The following is a brain-based coaching insight, complete with coaching tips on the bottom. It is the first part of a 5-part series.

Sign up HERE for our free series and have them delivered to your inbox in the next few weeks.

According to a study by Lally and Gardner (2013), the average time for their research participants to reach “automaticity” (e.g., habit) was 66 days, with a range of 18-254 days.

The more complex the task, the longer it took for a behavior to become automatic, which means it takes much longer than the oft-quoted 21-30 days to form a concrete habit.

Coaches are in the business of supporting people to create “habits”—good habits, supportive habits, invigorating habits, life-giving habits, success habits, happy habits!

How do we coach our brains (or our clients’ brains) to get on board with routinizing habits that will bring us more freedom, fun, and fulfillment?

Whatever habit we want to adopt, it will be much easier to create “automaticity” if we first adopt a sense of optimism. Our outer lives are a reflection of our inner thoughts. If we think “it will never happen,” we are priming our brains to look for evidence that, indeed, “it will never happen” and our actions will follow suit.

So how long does it REALLY take to create a habit? FOREVER! . . . IF IF IF your brain has convinced you that “it will never happen!” Habit formation is closely tied to our optimism/pessimism.

Coaching Tips:

1. Increase your awareness around your optimism. One way to do that is to take the Optimism Test at www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu.

2. Keep things in context. If something “bad” happens, make it “negative specific.” For example, “This audit from the IRS certainly wasn’t on my Christmas wish list, but there are lots of other good things happening in my life right now.”

3. Shift from “negative specific” to “negative general.” For example, “I’ve weathered other tough things before, and I will get through this one, too.”

4. Think twice about how you “label” things. Ponder the wisdom of Shakespeare,

“For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

Or, paraphrased for today’s language:

“Nothing is good or bad, unless we label it so.”

5. Start to consider how life will change when you operate with greater levels of optimism. What would you notice first? What would open up for you?

Insights? Actions?

If you’d like to receive the remaining emails in this free series, sign up HERE to have them delivered to your inbox in the next few weeks.
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The Internal Career Coach: How to Coach a Manager with Low EQ

By Susan Whitcomb | 4 Comments »

shutterstock_90636670I just got off the phone with an internal coach who is coaching a manager who has low EQ. You’ve probably come across this type of manager—the financial superstar who is bottom-line oriented and therefore gets promoted but has yet-to-be-developed skills in the area of motivating, developing, and relating to his/her direct reports.

As I’ve taught coaching over the years, I frequently hear the questions of “How do you get people who are highly analytical to be more relational?” and “How do you increase their EQ?”

Here’s my latest thinking on those questions, based on my understanding of neuroscience.

It starts with compassion.

Compassion keeps us out of fight-flight mode and puts us into peace-possibility mode, and we know that our brains are more able to come up with options and see solutions from the latter stance.

You might think, my low-EQ manager clients don’t want compassion from me! Maybe not. We do know that one of the things they do need is a no-judgment zone. And that is compassionate. We know that they do need to remain calm and in control so they can find solutions. And we know that they’re not in control when they’re being emotionally hijacked!

Next, is curiosity.

To help someone change their thinking (and then their behavior), they must be curious. They must wonder whether the way they’ve always thought/acted is still making sense. They must wonder what a different way of being might bring them better results.

shutterstock_96217502

 

Compassion & Curiosity in Coaching Conversation

Here’s how compassion and curiosity might sound in a coaching scenario:

 

Client: My new employee isn’t cutting it. She doesn’t quite have the skill set we really need at this point in time. I don’t have the time to deal with this. I want to just cut her loose.

Coach: I hear the drain.

 

Client: Right. It’s just one more thing and we’re going through so much with this re-organization.

Coach: Lots on your shoulders. I can almost see it physically. [pause] And I hear you wanting to be done with this.

 

Client: I do. This isn’t what I signed up for. It’s a drag on our productivity.

Coach: Sounds like it’s a drag on you, individually, as well. So even though you don’t want to spend time on this, it’s still taking up space in your thought process and draining your energy.

 

Client: No kidding. [sigh] She’s not totally useless, but there are some things that really annoy me.

Coach: What would those be?

 

Client: She’s overly enthusiastic and doesn’t count the cost, and then it ends up causing misunderstandings and friction.

Coach: And on the flip side, you said ‘not totally useless,’ what are the things she does well?

 

Client: In a way, it is her enthusiasm that the rest of the team seems to respond well to.

Coach: Double-edged sword.

 

Client: And she really pulls the project management piece of things into focus. She can get other people on board.

 

Coach: It’s what they call ‘cognitive dissonance.’

Client: What do you mean?

 

Coach: Part of you says “she’s really upbeat, she’s loyal as the day is long, she’ll tackle anything you ask her.” And another part of you says, “a leopard doesn’t change its spots, I don’t have time to train or develop her, I don’t think she can do the job anyway.”

Client: Right.

 

Coach: And typically when there is cognitive dissonance, there’s hesitation, procrastination, second-guessing, and that quiet internal voice in our heads that keeps chewing on things, stealing away precious resources from our ability to think creatively and strategically.

Client: That makes sense.

 

Coach: Up to this point, it’s as if your brain may have been focusing on thinking, ‘no time for this, cut her loose’ as the wisest move—the best way to cope—, and yet there’s another part that’s quietly raising its hand to say, ‘hmmm, but she does bring some value to the table.’

 

Coach: One of the best ways to resolve cognitive dissonance is with curiosity. What comes up for you with that word “curiosity”?

Client: So, maybe, curiosity around where does she fit best, curiosity around what would happen if I simply told her that she’s not cutting it, curiosity around what will I do in the future if I get someone else on my team who doesn’t have everything on the ‘wish list’ that I want—will I just cut ‘em all loose?

 

Coach: What else?

Client: I’m done.

 

Coach: Open to some other thoughts?

Client: Yep.

 

Coach: Curiosity around how to leverage her strengths … curiosity around how you leverage your strengths in managing her … curiosity around whether this might take less time than originally imagined …

Client: Those are good.

 

Coach: You’re stretching her. You’re stretching yourself.

Client: I hear that. I get it.

 

Coach: How do you want to execute on the insights?

 

[end of excerpt]

 

Did you spot the compassion? Did you spot the curiosity? How might you implement these ideas with the people you coach? With yourself?

Enjoy!

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What Are You Addicted To?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

shutterstock_218061502We all have known people who seem predisposed to seeing the glass “half-full” or “half-empty”—the optimists vs the pessimists, the perky Pollyannas vs the Debbie Downers, the Susie Sunshines vs the in-the-dumps Eyores of the world. Why the difference?

It turns out that there is a biochemical, molecular answer! In the early 1970s, a young doctoral student at Johns Hopkins, Candice Pert, was working on her PhD in neuropharmacology. She was the first to discover opiate receptors on the outside of a cell—these opiate receptors “receive” both external opiates, such as heroine and opium, as well as our internal natural opiate, endorphins.

A decade later, while working at the National Institutes of Health, her research evolved to uncover one of the most significant discoveries in the history of neuroscience:

Your emotions consist of real, physical things

Dr. Pert, in her book, The Molecules of Emotion, describes that every emotion (love, joy, peace, anger, frustration, sadness) has a unique neuropeptide associated with it, and our bodies produce that unique neuropeptide by the billions every time we experience a particular emotion.

We become comfortable with our most familiar emotions. If our most familiar emotions are negative emotions, that’s what we’re used to and, in a sense, we become “addicted” to those emotions. If our most familiar emotions are positive emotions, that’s what we become most familiar with, and thus “addicted” to positive emotions.

emotionsThe more the brain perceives the world through the lens of gratitude, the faster the hypothalamus (the control center of the brain) signals to secrete the “positive” neuropeptides that bind to billions of cell receptors throughout the body to produce positive emotions.

The more the brain perceives the world through the lens of threat, loss, pessimism, worry, scarcity, and so on, the faster the hypothalamus signals to secrete “negative” neuropeptides that bind to billions of cell receptors throughout the body and cause the cells to become damaged and more susceptible to disease.

In short:

  • Positive emotions produce positive neurotransmitters, creating a sort of biological “addiction” in our cells—all day, every day—for more positive emotions.
  • Negative emotions produce neurotransmitters that are harmful to our cells, creating a sort of biological “addiction” in our cells—all day, every day—for more negative emotions.

The question to answer is this:

What is your default addiction?

If it’s a positive addiction, congratulations! Research tells us we’ll will live longer, healthier, and happier. If it’s not, the good news is that we can change.

Coaching tip: Engage your clients in “Rewriting Their Story!” A wise person once said “our lives are a reflection of our beliefs.” If there is a part of your life that you are not yet satisfied with, rewrite the beliefs for that part of the story. For example:

  • I am the type of person who regularly makes great decisions in every area of my life—health, business, relationships, finances. I easily see and leverage new opportunities. I easily relate to people who have built multimillion-dollar businesses and both learn from them and offer them value.
  • I tackle my priorities and enjoy getting the right things done in the right order at the right time. I “ride the wave” of uncomfortable emotions when I learn new things and find it an adventure to “not be perfect” when I’m experiencing a learning curve. I model this for others. I am so relaxed in approaching my projects.

What will your new addiction be?!

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Recent Posts

Does optimism mean you have to be happy all the time? As humans we experience a wide range of emotions. On the negative (“minus”) end of the spectrum, those emotions can include worry, fear, anxiety, hate, worry, frustration, bitterness, jealousy. On the positive (“plus”) end of the spectrum, we have love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope, […]

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For many years, I wasn’t aware of how “routinized” my ability to worry, catastrophize, and feel guilty had become! It was a habit that I hadn’t realized was part of my daily life. And with every worrisome thought, I caused a chemical release in my system that took me even further into a subtle but […]

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I’ve been on a journey of becoming more Optimistic over the past few years. I’ll admit that, for many years, I lived with a tendency toward feeling “guilty” and even a bit “fearful” about getting everything done or having the business I needed to make ends meet—I was often the first to: Wonder: “Whew, we […]

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