I was coaching an entrepreneurial client recently and, as is so often the case, a limiting belief reared its ugly head in the middle of our coaching session. No surprise, as we all have them (limiting beliefs), including moi!

Specifically, we talked about putting systems in place that would support her annual revenue goals. Listening carefully, I caught a clue to the roadblock when she said, “I’m just no good at organizing.” You’ve probably used a similar phrase, such as:

• I’m no good at …
• I’ve never been able to successfully …
• I am just not talented at …
• My gift is definitely not …
• I wish I didn’t have to …

Whatever the phrase, it probably related to a task that you regularly avoid or procrastinate on, such as:

• Marketing
• Closing sales
• Growing my business
• Bookkeeping
• Networking
• Social media
• Getting/staying organized
• Staying up on technology
• Following up with your clients/network
• Or fill in your own “I’m-no-good-at” task here: ____________

So what do you do when you hit a “I’m-no-good-at-that” roadblock? Before I offer some insights, first pick something from the above task list that resonates with you so you have something tangible with which to relate these ideas.

Now, here are three insights and suggestions:

1. Incapacitate the accusations: Notice your language or self-talk. Don’t condemn or berate yourself. Just curiously notice and name it, whether silently or aloud. E.g., “I’m noticing that I am labeling myself as ‘not good at’ x.”
2. Remember the W.I.N. (“What’s Important Now/Next?”) Decide how important “x” is to your success. If you chose “closing sales,” and you don’t have a waiting list of clients ready to thrust money into your hands, it’s likely that “closing sales” is pretty important. If it’s “staying up on technology” but that isn’t critical to the success of your business, note that as well. Focus on important items.
3. Swap it: Substitute your “I’m-no-good-at” phrase for this new phrase:“I don’t know how to [x] … YET!”

When we shift from “I’m no good at” to “I don’t know how to … YET!” we shift from condemnation to exoneration, and with exoneration to encouragement. As a human being, you are a living, breathing, learning machine. Your brain is capable of wiring more new neuropathways and healthy habits than you could ever dream possible.

Everything you need for success can either be 1) learned or 2) paid for and performed by someone else. If you’re growing your business, you may choose to “learn” more than you “pay for” initially (focus on doing the things that only you can do and delegate the rest).

So what is the mind-shift for you? What do you want to learn next?

One of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves is the gift of a mentor — an experienced colleague by your side who has traveled just a little farther down the road than you have … one who is willing to share her expertise, experiences, encouragement … her mistakes and how to avoid them … her secrets and how to leverage them.

When I was learning coaching, I worked with several mentors, but primarily an amazing saint by the name of Judy Santos. Judy began her heavenly, eternal life almost two years ago. I still miss her and wish I could ask her questions, seek her support, hear her perspective.

It got me thinking about the benefits of a mentor. Here are just a few . . .

• Safety: A safe place to make mistakes (it’s what we all do when we’re learning!)
• Feedback: I loved receiving confidential feedback (read: not embarrassed in front of others for my lack of mastery) on what I was doing right, and what I could do differently.
• Awareness: Judy gently (sometimes bluntly) uncovered my blind spots . . . I’ll never forget the time she asked me, “what will happen if you don’t do this?” (those words echo in my head still today when I’m having trouble finding my courage!).
• Momentum: I grew by leaps and bounds in my coaching skills.
• Ideas & Insights: I could ask questions about the client situations I was dealing with.
• Networking: I developed a deep professional relationship, as well as a personal friendship. Our professional relationship helped grow my business. Our personal relationship enriched my life. I was even able to visit Judy in Washington four weeks before she died.
• Stretch: I grew in my ability to coach ‘stuck’ clients and different client types through challenging role plays.
• Confidence: This was probably the biggest benefit for me … I discovered that as my confidence grew, my client list grew … clients will hire you not just for your competence but also for your confidence!

I originally crafted this list of benefits when we introduced The Academies “FREE” Mentor Coaching offer that’s going on through December 16 (a huge $1,700 savings that we can only offer on a limited time basis to a handful of people). If you’re in the market for (dare I say it?) life-changing coach certification training, now might be the time to investigate it further. You can do so here: http://www.theacademies.com/free-mentor-coaching/

And, how about you … how has your life been bettered with a mentor at your side? Or, if you’ve yet to experience that, what would you LIKE to change?

To your significance and success,

Susan

Let’s face it. You and I need to be persuasive in order to be successful. And so do our clients—they will never land a job, win a promotion, or achieve their dreams if they don’t have the buy-in and support of others.

In a recent study session I had with neuro-leadership trainer Tony Pottle, of Time to Be Great, LLC, I learned a helpful acronym called “S.U.R.E.” that Tony developed. It en“sures” you can be effective at persuading others in an ethical and effective manner.

Before I unfold this acronym, think of an upcoming situation where you would benefit from being more persuasive. Picture the people, the challenge, and the stakes.

With that in mind, here’s the FIRST installment (the “S” in SURE) on how you can SURE-ly be persuasive! (Watch for the remaining three—U, R, and E—in the next few days!)

S = Simplicity

Persuasive communication must be succinct and specific to make it as easy as possible on your listener’s prefrontal cortex (the PFC, which we use for understanding, is wired with limited capacity and easily distracted!).

Persuasive communication must also be generous. If too succinct and specific, we can sound cold and harsh.

For example, if you were to be succinct and specific with a client, you might say: “You must network to find a job. You’ll need to talk to people, find out what their needs are, and then offer solutions.”

By adding generous language, the delivery changes to “Successful candidates win at networking by connecting with decision-makers, clarifying what needs accomplished, and collaborating on how you can be the solution.”

Note, also, that the last three items illustrate the “tricolon”—the use of threes in speaking, which the brain responds to and remembers.

So if you’re looking to be persuasive, how will you apply this “Simplicity” model to your communications? (I’m laughing at myself because I rewrote this post three times to try and make it as “simple” as possible!!)

Interested in learning more of these types of techniques? Our next Certified Career Management Coach program starts Wednesday, November 9^th, and we’ll be talking about some of the latest research that relates to brain-based coaching techniques. Don’t miss it!

We had quite the activity next door recently. Our entire family awakened to the sound of metal crunching at 4am on a Saturday morning. We all went back to sleep, too lazy to get up and investigate. When I heard the sound of a siren winding down about 10 minutes later, I thought, “I’d better go see what, indeed, happened.”

As I looked outside the front window, I saw the complete complement of emergency vehicles: fire truck, ambulance, sheriff’s cars, Fresno PD. My husband and I went out to see what on earth had happened. It turns out that a young man, age 26, was driving down our very quiet, very narrow neighborhood street at 70-80 mph. After running a stop sign some 100 feet before our house, the dip from the intersection that he blew through caused him to lose control of his car. He veered into my next-door neighbor’s beautifully landscaped yard, hitting a 2,000-lb boulder the size of a small car. On impact, he popped that boulder about 20 feet forward (unbelievable), rolled his big Chevy SUV (that’s the underside of the car in the picture), and killed himself instantly.

As the sun came up a few hours later, several neighbors had gathered outside to discuss the tragedy. It was then that a revelation came to light that caused me to shudder. Examining the tread marks on the street, analyzing where the car hit the boulder, where the boulder bounced to (if boulders can bounce), and the trajectory of the car brought tears to my eyes.

Big boulder on left ‘bounced’ 20 feet

Were it not for the boulder, that speeding car would have found a very different stopping point—the middle of my daughter’s bedroom. It was a sobering thought. At that moment, I sensed God’s voice (not audible, but impressionistic) that said, “I knew this would happen … I caused that boulder to be put there years ago for her protection.”

Introspection followed, and I pondered the boulders we all encounter in life. . .

• Sometimes the boulders feel like roadblocks—big and impossible to move or get around, keeping us from the things that we want. Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor who died of pancreatic cancer and authored the bestseller “Last Lecture” describes that the brick walls (i.e., boulders) in our lives are there to determine how much we really want something. What efforts will we go through to get through or around those walls? What key skills and character will be built as a result of the effort?

• In some cases, boulders may be a point of guidance—something there to cause you to veer to the left or the right instead of in the direction you were headed.

• Boulders can also be put in place by us, as a point of memorial of some sort—a remembrance of a milestone or, as in the Old Testament, a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

• And, sometimes the boulders are there to protect us. In our family’s case recently, the latter was certainly true.

In any case, bless the boulders in your life . . . and may you know discernment in what form they take, how to negotiate them and/or how to honor them.

To your success and significance!

It’s official. My daughter Emmeline is now behind the wheel as a student driver. Read on to make the connection between putting a nervous, untrained 15-year-old behind the wheel of a 4,000-lb. car and career success (I promise, it’s eye-opening)!

Here’s how Emmeline’s first driving lesson unfolded. I researched driver training schools and uncovered a gem of an instructor in John Cullington of Elite Driver Training Services. He was more expensive than some of the other schools I looked into, but he’s written a book on training parents how to help their kids learn to drive and is working on a video series to complement the book. That was my first clue that this was a guy passionate about his work. (Note the career-entrepreneur application in Lesson #1 below.)

He showed up at 9 a.m. Thursday morning, chipper and buoyant. “Are you nervous?” he asked.

Admittedly, “yes,” replied Emmeline. She went on to explain her fears.

He turned to me: “How about you, Mom? What are you nervous about?”

I shared my concerns. What parent doesn’t have them?!

He confidently assured us those fears would dissipate with his Cullington Driving Concepts. (Lesson #2)

We got in the car, Emmeline in the driver’s seat, John in the passenger seat, and mom in the back. John asked Emmeline to drive around our quiet neighborhood for 5-10 minutes to banish the butterflies in her stomach, then he had her park alongside the curb and get out of the car for an interesting object lesson. (Lesson #3)

The lesson was enlightening. John taught Emmeline (and me) that our hands follow our eyes. If Emmeline was worried about hitting a bicyclist alongside the road, and if I were to say, “watch out for the bicyclist,” her eyes would automatically look toward the cyclist and her hands (grasping the steering wheel) would follow. This would cause her to be MORE likely to hit the cyclist. Not good. John explained it was like being told to not think about pink elephants. (Lesson #4)

Continuing with his lesson, John taught the difference between direct vision and peripheral vision—that you can look up and still see down, but you cannot look down and still see up. (The application to cell phone usage and texting is evident.)

He also asked both of us to look down the street and describe the biggest thing we saw. We responded with items like houses and trees. We flunked that question. John explained that the biggest thing out there was SPACE. And space was what he was going to teach Emmeline to aim for. As we climbed back into the car and eventually ventured out onto busier four-lane streets with speeding traffic and unpredictable drivers, it was that Aim-For-Space concept that kept Emmeline calm and crash-free. (Lesson #5)

There was much more to the lesson, but those are a few highlights for starters. Now, on to the applications for you and me as career professionals and entrepreneurs.

Lesson #1: People WILL pay you more for expertise. Training, certification, authoring books, making videos, etc. does pay off!

Lesson #2: Uncover the pain your customers have. Then offer confidence! As Pat Schuler says in Serious Revenue: Landing 4- and 5-Figure Clients . . . with Integrity and Heart, people want to know that you have the compass and machete to lead them out of the jungle!

Lesson #3: Meet your clients where they are before jumping in with plans and instruction. People can’t learn anything until some of the nerves are cleared away.

Lesson #4: Just as our hands follow our eyes, our actions follow our thoughts. If you’re thinking, “this client will never buy my services,” chances are you’re right.

Lesson #5: Are you missing the obvious? What’s the biggest thing in front of you today? It’s OPPORTUNITY. Aim for the opportunity, not the obstacles, and you’ll sail down the entrepreneurial highway!

If you’re looking for some new tools, training, strategies or confidence, The Academies can help!! Visit www.TheAcademies.com or call (877) 659-3769 ext 4 for more information on upcoming training.

Listening is the bedrock of coaching people in transition. You are likely an excellent listener already, given your profession, training, and experience. Check in with yourself by trying this listening quiz. Give yourself one hash mark for each of the following statements that you can say “yes” to.

The movie “The Adjustment Bureau” has been on my “want-to-see” list for some time now. Since it made it to the $3 theatre in my area, it was my Friday night date with my hubby. I find the whole concept of free will and fate interesting. And no, this isn’t a debate on the subject! Instead, it’s a look at our choices.

The premise of the film is that Matt Damon, who plays a congressman from New York, has a destiny to go on to win the presidency. The Adjustment Bureau—a group of men/beings/angels?—are carefully manipulating events to make sure that happens. When Matt meets and falls in love with Emily Blunt, who plays a contemporary ballet dancer, The Adjustment Bureau steps in to make sure that the two are separated, because the relationship will derail his political destiny, as well as her future as a premier dancer and world-respected choreographer. Damon decides otherwise—he’d rather choose for himself.

One of my favorite lines from the film is when Damon says “All I have are the choices I make, and I choose her.”

I thought to myself, how would I or you fill in the end of that sentence?

“All I have are the choices I make, and I choose ________________________.”

When it comes to your coaching business, are you choosing success?

Are you choosing to . . .

• Market, or learn more about marketing if you feel that that’s not a strong suit for you (remember, everything is learnable!)?
• Stretch yourself with new coaching assignments?
• Diversify your offerings so that you have multiple points of entry on pricing?
• Work on your website so the copy connects with readers and addresses their concerns and pains?

What do you need to be choosing to do … today … to lead to a tremendous tomorrow!

Wish your life was on track for a delightful destiny? Coaching can make it happen … for you and your clients. Hundreds of Academies grads have learned how with coach certification training: more info here on our upcoming June program!

PBS Newshour’s coverage of Osama bin Laden’s death caught my attention recently when terrorism analyst Steve Coll described the Al-Qaida network as:

“a network of like-minded organizations, of franchises and affiliates … [a] movement that would incite individuals to act on their own, even without ever having contact with al-Qaida trainers.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not supporting al-Qaida in the least. But I do ask myself the question, why is this network so effective? From my laymen’s perspective, it appears there is:

• A common cause: members are deeply committed to the cause–it’s emotional; it’s something that gets them excited; they live and breathe it.
• Initiative: even though not directly sanctioned, the proponents of al-Qaida, take initiative to do things in the name of the cause.
• Perseverance: they don’t let supposed “setbacks” set them back. In fact, the discussion boards, according to terrorism analyst Farhana Qazi of the consulting firm BoozAllen, noted that bin Laden’s death was a success, in that he was now a martyr. No “glass-half-empty” for these folks!

Because I love to look at everything through the lens of career management, I then ask: What lessons can we learn from al-Qaida when it comes to our own career networks?

• Common cause: Do you live and breathe your work (not that I want you to be a workaholic or unbalanced, but you should live and breathe your work ‘cuz you should adore what you do! [Wow, can you believe it? I used the word should!). And when it comes to your career, are you hanging out with people that share your passions, interests, and commitments? If not, how can you find these people? (LinkedIn groups are often a great place to start.)
• Initiative: Don’t wait for someone to give you permission to take action. If you have a good idea that will benefit your network (and not just you alone), act on it!
• Perseverance: If you’ve hit a supposed setback, look for the lessons and the blessings in the midst of it. And think about what you need to do differently that will allow you to persevere. The glass IS half-full!

What other thoughts come to mind for you when you think about applying lessons from al-Qaida and building a solid network?

Want to learn more about networking? We cover it in more depth in the Certified Job Search Strategist program! Join us in June for the next class. Learn more here!

How long is the job search? 27 weeks, says the BLS! Is there a shortcut? One jobseeker found it … in the form of Twitter.

Stephen Moyer, one of the 13 jobseekers featured in The Twitter Job Search Guide (JIST, 2010) authored by Chandlee Bryan (@chandlee), Deb Dib (@CEOCoach), and myself (@SusanWhitcomb), is a stellar case study on how Twitter can work wonders in a job search.

As Chandlee likes to say, when it comes to networking,

“Twitter is the barrier buster!”

Unlike LinkedIn or Facebook, there are no approvals when it comes to connecting with (or “following”) others. So whom did Stephen follow? People in the industry he wanted to be in. Here are some excerpts of my interview with Stephen (@Stephen_Moyer).

“When I first started on Twitter I was doing an internship with a logistics company and was interested in getting into recruiting and HR, so I went looking through some of my followers and noticed Karla Porter (@Karla_Porter). When I saw her profile, she said she was interested in ‘all things recruiting’ so I thought ‘maybe I’ll contact her through Twitter.’ I sent her an @ message asking if she could help me out and answer questions. Within 15 minutes she sent me her phone number and said ‘call.’

“I told her I was doing my internship and it turns out she knew my supervisor at the logistics company. A couple of days later, I got a message from Karla saying she talked to my supervisor, who gave me stellar reviews, and wondered if I’d like to come down and do an internship with her.

“During that time, Karla was mentioning me on Twitter as the ‘infamous intern,’ commending everything I’d done for her, and people started to notice. Karla had a request to have me join her on a blog talk radio program she was going to be on to answer some questions about etiquette on Twitter. During that process, a couple of people on the radio show asked me if I’d be able to help them out with their blog talk radio shows, including Paul Paris’ the Ex-recruiter show and the Bill Boorman show. Bill Boorman gave me 10 minutes at the end of his show to discuss why I wanted to be a recruiter and he allowed other recruiters on the show to give me guidance and free mentoring.

“I got tips from another recruiter, Animal, on how to develop my profile and how to make it more recruiter friendly since recruiting is what I wanted to do. I also followed up using different LinkedIn contacts. I connected with people in the U.S. and Canada who gave me some valuable insights on an interview that was coming up.

“Twitter has been indispensable in my job search. I would never have received the multiple interview opportunities (and offers) without being out there and active on Twitter.”

To summarize it, here’s how Stephen shortened his search. He …

• Shifted his tweet strategy from social (and started using Facebook for his social interactions) to more professional, interacting not just with friends but people in his target industry.

• Used Twitter to create opportunities for voice-to-voice and face-to-face contacts … and even picked up the phone first in some instances (revolutionary!)

• Engaged his Twitter community with @ messages (writing directly to someone on Twitter while allowing others to see the message) and conversations.

• Became a real person, not just another Twitter handle, which caused others to know, like, and recommend him (Karla_Porter).

• Used an integrated approach (LinkedIn, Twitter, as well as phone contacts, radio shows, etc.)

• Asked for advice (and listened to it!)

• Followed up, followed up, followed up!

Bottom line. Instead of the typical 27-week job search timeline, Stephen landed a new opportunity in just 10 weeks. Applause, applause, Stephen!

So join the conversation! What else have you seen work when it comes to Twitter and the job search?

Want to learn more about using Twitter as a barrier-busting career management tool? Join us for the next Microblogging Career Strategist program that starts in June. Info here!

The Career Management Alliance conference this past week in Las Vegas was highlighted by thought-leading speakers in the career industry. One of the breakout tracks showcased the use of story telling in the career management cycle, with separate presentations from speakers Kathy Hansen of www.QuintCareers.com, George Dutch of www.JobJoy.com, Chandlee Bryan of www.BestFitForward.com and www.Startwire.com, and Nancy Collamer of www.JobsandMoms.com.

At the end of the conference, Kathy Hansen, author of A Storied Career, did a brilliant job at weaving together each of these sessions into, appropriately, a story … about a girl named “Alice,” who learned how to use story in her career exploration and decision making, as well as her networking and interviewing process. Read it here!

In helping wrap up the conference with highlights, I had the opportunity to close our sessions with a quick inspirational message, that went something like this:

“Each of us is the author of our own life story. In the past few days, we’ve written new pages into our current chapter. As we leave here, we have the opportunity to write a new success story. So …

• What will the next chapter of your story be titled?
• How will it reflect what you want to create in this world?
• Do you need to write “out” a few old characters? Perhaps some clients that are over-draining and under-paying? (Caveat: I am not proposing that we dump every “challenging” person in our lives … there are often beautiful wisdom lessons that can be learned from these situations!)
• Do you need to write “in” a few new characters?
• How can you be aware of where you are in this particular chapter of your life?
• Every story has tension and resolution. If you are in a tension phase, know that there is resolution coming. And what can you to do to take control and “write” that resolution?

Finally, I challenged myself and my colleagues to shout out with me this claim:

I am choosing to live happily ever after!

Will you join me? What choices can you make TODAY that spin a tale of happily ever after?