Personal Branding

Brain Coach: Does Optimism Mean You Have to Be Happy All the Time?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

Does optimism mean you have to be happy all the time? As humans we experience a wide range of emotions. On the negative (“minus”) end of the spectrum, those emotions can include worry, fear, anxiety, hate, worry, frustration, bitterness, jealousy. On the positive (“plus”) end of the spectrum, we have love, joy, peace, gratitude, hope, and happiness.

For simplicity’s sake, let’s say that Optimism is the umbrella for emotions that put us into the “plus” category. Can we be in the “plus” category all of the time?

I had a conversation with a fellow coach the other day, and we talked about what it feels like to have that “mountaintop” experience—the feeling you get when you’ve been at, say, a retreat or an amazing conference where you’ve connected with like-minded people who have inspired you. You come away believing that things are possible. That you can do it. That there is hope.

Then I posed the question:

How much of the time do you think we can live in that “mountaintop” space?

What is your answer to that question? 10%? 20%? 30%? 40%? 50%? 60%? 70%? 80%? 90%? 100%?

Our brains look for evidence of our beliefs. If we think the answer is 10%, we will prove ourselves right. If we think the answer is 90%, we again will prove ourselves right.

So back to the question of the day—does optimism mean you have to be happy all the time? What if we can train ourselves to live in the 90th percentile! I am heading there, and live is wonderful from this perspective!

And yes, we will have moments when unwelcome circumstances happen—goals don’t get achieved on schedule, sickness comes, people we love die. (Grief should never be ignored, but it can be wrapped in gratitude and peace.)

Or, on a smaller scale—an email comes that contains words that hurt your feelings, a jealous feeling flashes for a moment when you see someone experiencing the success that you want for yourself, a loved one says something unkind to you.

These circumstances can be wonderful and welcome reminders of where you want your focus to be. When you put your hand atop a hot stove burner, you don’t leave it there. You remove it immediately. Likewise, when you experience the flash of frustration/fear/worry, notice that the “stove is hot” and pull yourself away from it.

Click HERE to access Brain-Based Coaching Tips on Mountain-Top Optimism.

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Brain Coach: Optimism Squared–Span & Subtleties

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

For many years, I wasn’t aware of how “routinized” my ability to worry, catastrophize, and feel guilty had become! It was a habit that I hadn’t realized was part of my daily life. And with every worrisome thought, I caused a chemical release in my system that took me even further into a subtle but impactful state of unsettledness, second-guessing, and insecurity.

I wasn’t a basket case by any means, but I certainly didn’t live with the confidence, freedom, and fun that I live with today. And I can assure you, I am sooooo much happier with my increasing Optimism. It has greatly increased my ability to see options and take action.

And I know the same is true for my colleagues who are on a similar journey. @JamesBeeman @KarolTaylor @BeverlyHarvey @SusanChritton and other fellow Master Brain-Based Success Coaches!

Optimism—Span & Subtleties

I’ve talked about the Speed and Sustainability of Optimism. Here are two more dimensions:

Span: Are there some areas of your life where you’re naturally an Optimist while other areas (a challenging relationship, career success, finances) aren’t as strong?

Subtleties: Or, are there subtle areas of your life that you may not even realize you’re approaching from more of a Pessimistic perspective? Places where you’re 1) resigned, 2) restless, or 3) in a bit of a rut? For instance,

  • The ebbs and flows of business (do you assume “there are just busy times and down times in my business—it’s just part of the cycle, not something I can control”) or
  • Relationships (do you assume “there’s no way I could get business from that person—I’m too small potatoes to work with them”), or
  • Diet/weight loss (if weight loss has been a struggle in the past, do you assume “this is just the way it’s going to be”), or
  • Other everyday circumstances (do you assume, “there’s no way I’ll ever get my email under control”), etc.

Click here for a Coaching Tip to Increase Span & Subtleties of Optimism:

Insights? Actions?

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Relegated to 2nd Class Success when You’re Carrying a 1st Class Ticket?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

plane-and-ticket2I’m writing this from 30,000 feet, aboard an American Airlines flight as I head to Dallas to see my daughter. I fly First Class whenever I can (the benefits outweigh the cost) but when I went to book the ticket a few months ago, I saw a $169 deal on a seat in the main cabin that was just too good to pass up.

Come travel day, I checked in at the baggage ticket counter and asked the agent what my chances were of getting the sky-miles upgrade I had requested when I originally booked. He said, “You’re second on the list.” I was in an extroverted mood, so I smiled and chatted away with him. He was going to charge me for my two bags until I pleasantly asked him if my Gold or Ruby status didn’t allow me free baggage. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye and said, “You’re Premier as far as I’m concerned.”

I didn’t think much of it as I made my way to security, simply happy to be heading off to see my girl. I figured the odds of getting into First Class weren’t necessarily great, given the small business-class cabin on the old McDonald-Douglas S80 I’d be on.

I made my perfunctory stop at Starbucks for my quad decaf latte (extra foam). I visited the ladies room. I checked the boarding group on my ticket. And finally, I queued up to board the plane. As I handed the gate agent my ticket and inquired, “If I’m waiting to see about an upgrade, should I stay out here in the boarding area?” He looked at my ticket, looked back at me puzzled, and said, “You’re already in First Class. See right here—your ticket says 5B.”

I had been carrying around a
First Class ticket and didn’t even realize it.

Tickled that Life and Love (God, in my book) had allowed me this delightful little surprise, there was a lilt in my step as I walked down the jet way.

Brain Coach Application

Our cerebral cortex, the thinking part of our brain, processes at 2,000 bits of information per second. The unconscious processes an astounding 40 billion bits per second. As Pam Grote writes in her book E-Squared:

“Needless to say, that’s a heck of a lot of reality [to process]. So what do we do? We start screening. We start narrowing down. I’ll take that bit of information over there, and let’s see—this one fits nicely with my ongoing soap opera about the opposite sex. When all is said and down, we’re down to 2,000 measly bits of information. … What we choose to take in is only one-half of one-millionth of a percent of what’s out there.”

At the airport, my brain was busy filtering data, taking in what I was expecting. My brain told me, “You’re in the main cabin.” I fixated on what the first agent said early in our conversation, “you’re second on the list.” And so I didn’t even look at my ticket when he handed it to me.

shutterstock_184497443Unbeknownst to me, the agent had upgraded me after our pleasant exchange about baggage charges. That was the reason for the twinkle in his eye when he handed me the ticket. I just assumed he was turning on his customer service charm.

As I settled into my comfy leather seat, the “surprise ticket” sunk in further, and I quickly saw the analogy to life. How often are we meant to experience delights, ease, and successes, but we don’t even see what is in front of us because we’ve primed our brains to only look for second-class results!

Your turn!

  • What if you’ve (metaphorically) got a first-class ticket but are expecting second-class success?
  • Are you expecting less?
  • Are you assuming, “it won’t work out?”
  • Do you think, “Things like that don’t happen for me?”
  • What would it take to shift your focus and widen your aperture?
  • How would life be different if you primed your brain for a First Class life?
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Brain Coach: Rational vs. Emotive Optimism

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

Earlier, you heard about “Rational Optimism”—how we can lean toward thinking about positive outcomes for the situations in our lives. This is the cognitive (thinking) side of Optimism.

But Optimism isn’t just a cognitive process, as in telling yourself, “this will all work out.” It’s also an emotional process. Unless we truly FEEL the peace, the love, the abundance—deep in our soul—with a sense that “this will all work out,” we won’t have the fullest benefit of Optimism.

The counterbalance to Cognitive Optimism is Emotive Optimism. When we have Emotive Optimism, we’ll have “happy” neurochemicals  (serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin) floating through the brain and body. These neurochemicals support our ability to think more clearly, creatively, and strategically. And, that sets us up to act more confidently, with greater certainty, and with more constancy.

One of my mentors, Dr. Donald Johnson at the Applied Neuroscience Institute, notes that using positive thinking to navigate a challenging situation is a diluted process. Without positive emotions, we handicap ourselves. I liken it to swinging a baseball bat with just one hand—you’re out of balance and lose a great deal of power.

With both Rational AND Emotive Optimism, we eliminate cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is the feeling that things don’t quite add up. . . that you are trying to convince yourself of something while another part of your brain (or heart, or gut) just isn’t buying it. Cognitive dissonance leads to hesitation, procrastination, and pessimism.

Coaching Tips for Emotive Optimism:

1. Evaluate your optimism – if it is limping along, chances are it’s only Rational optimism and not both Rational and Emotive-based.

2. Explain to your brain that you are giving it permission to have an easier time, and that you will do this by inviting it to be washed and refreshed with “happy” neurochemicals, such as dopamine and oxytocin. (Our brains like to know what we’re up to!)

3. Be compassionate with your brain—it’s not used to being happy when it’s accustomed to be restless or upset about unwelcome circumstances. Tell your brain, “We’re just going to experiment for a bit with some new ways of handling this.”

4. Access Emotive Optimism with feelings that are proven to elevate mood. The core positive emotions are gratitude, peace, hope, love, and joy.

5. Identify a workable formula for accessing your gratitude (or peace, hope, etc.). This might be pausing to take 3 deep breaths and then visualizing the most beloved person in your life. Or it might be putting on a favorite, upbeat song. You decide. Be specific.

6. Revel in it. Two seconds of feeling a positive emotion isn’t nearly as effective as a full 68 seconds. Neuroscientist Dr. Jeffrey Fannin notes that, at 68 seconds, you actually create momentum and experience wavelength changes in the brain.

7. Spend (much) more time accessing and reveling in positive feelings than negative feelings. As human beings, we can be masterful at sustaining negative emotions (frustration, disappointment, fear). Set a goal of being just as masterful at making positive emotions the default for your mood.

Enjoy! And if you’re interested in learning more, check out the Certified Brain-Based Success Coach Program. The next cohort begins July 7th!

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The Internal Career Coach: How to Coach a Manager with Low EQ

By Susan Whitcomb | 4 Comments »

shutterstock_90636670I just got off the phone with an internal coach who is coaching a manager who has low EQ. You’ve probably come across this type of manager—the financial superstar who is bottom-line oriented and therefore gets promoted but has yet-to-be-developed skills in the area of motivating, developing, and relating to his/her direct reports.

As I’ve taught coaching over the years, I frequently hear the questions of “How do you get people who are highly analytical to be more relational?” and “How do you increase their EQ?”

Here’s my latest thinking on those questions, based on my understanding of neuroscience.

It starts with compassion.

Compassion keeps us out of fight-flight mode and puts us into peace-possibility mode, and we know that our brains are more able to come up with options and see solutions from the latter stance.

You might think, my low-EQ manager clients don’t want compassion from me! Maybe not. We do know that one of the things they do need is a no-judgment zone. And that is compassionate. We know that they do need to remain calm and in control so they can find solutions. And we know that they’re not in control when they’re being emotionally hijacked!

Next, is curiosity.

To help someone change their thinking (and then their behavior), they must be curious. They must wonder whether the way they’ve always thought/acted is still making sense. They must wonder what a different way of being might bring them better results.

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Compassion & Curiosity in Coaching Conversation

Here’s how compassion and curiosity might sound in a coaching scenario:

 

Client: My new employee isn’t cutting it. She doesn’t quite have the skill set we really need at this point in time. I don’t have the time to deal with this. I want to just cut her loose.

Coach: I hear the drain.

 

Client: Right. It’s just one more thing and we’re going through so much with this re-organization.

Coach: Lots on your shoulders. I can almost see it physically. [pause] And I hear you wanting to be done with this.

 

Client: I do. This isn’t what I signed up for. It’s a drag on our productivity.

Coach: Sounds like it’s a drag on you, individually, as well. So even though you don’t want to spend time on this, it’s still taking up space in your thought process and draining your energy.

 

Client: No kidding. [sigh] She’s not totally useless, but there are some things that really annoy me.

Coach: What would those be?

 

Client: She’s overly enthusiastic and doesn’t count the cost, and then it ends up causing misunderstandings and friction.

Coach: And on the flip side, you said ‘not totally useless,’ what are the things she does well?

 

Client: In a way, it is her enthusiasm that the rest of the team seems to respond well to.

Coach: Double-edged sword.

 

Client: And she really pulls the project management piece of things into focus. She can get other people on board.

 

Coach: It’s what they call ‘cognitive dissonance.’

Client: What do you mean?

 

Coach: Part of you says “she’s really upbeat, she’s loyal as the day is long, she’ll tackle anything you ask her.” And another part of you says, “a leopard doesn’t change its spots, I don’t have time to train or develop her, I don’t think she can do the job anyway.”

Client: Right.

 

Coach: And typically when there is cognitive dissonance, there’s hesitation, procrastination, second-guessing, and that quiet internal voice in our heads that keeps chewing on things, stealing away precious resources from our ability to think creatively and strategically.

Client: That makes sense.

 

Coach: Up to this point, it’s as if your brain may have been focusing on thinking, ‘no time for this, cut her loose’ as the wisest move—the best way to cope—, and yet there’s another part that’s quietly raising its hand to say, ‘hmmm, but she does bring some value to the table.’

 

Coach: One of the best ways to resolve cognitive dissonance is with curiosity. What comes up for you with that word “curiosity”?

Client: So, maybe, curiosity around where does she fit best, curiosity around what would happen if I simply told her that she’s not cutting it, curiosity around what will I do in the future if I get someone else on my team who doesn’t have everything on the ‘wish list’ that I want—will I just cut ‘em all loose?

 

Coach: What else?

Client: I’m done.

 

Coach: Open to some other thoughts?

Client: Yep.

 

Coach: Curiosity around how to leverage her strengths … curiosity around how you leverage your strengths in managing her … curiosity around whether this might take less time than originally imagined …

Client: Those are good.

 

Coach: You’re stretching her. You’re stretching yourself.

Client: I hear that. I get it.

 

Coach: How do you want to execute on the insights?

 

[end of excerpt]

 

Did you spot the compassion? Did you spot the curiosity? How might you implement these ideas with the people you coach? With yourself?

Enjoy!

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What Are You Addicted To?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

shutterstock_218061502We all have known people who seem predisposed to seeing the glass “half-full” or “half-empty”—the optimists vs the pessimists, the perky Pollyannas vs the Debbie Downers, the Susie Sunshines vs the in-the-dumps Eyores of the world. Why the difference?

It turns out that there is a biochemical, molecular answer! In the early 1970s, a young doctoral student at Johns Hopkins, Candice Pert, was working on her PhD in neuropharmacology. She was the first to discover opiate receptors on the outside of a cell—these opiate receptors “receive” both external opiates, such as heroine and opium, as well as our internal natural opiate, endorphins.

A decade later, while working at the National Institutes of Health, her research evolved to uncover one of the most significant discoveries in the history of neuroscience:

Your emotions consist of real, physical things

Dr. Pert, in her book, The Molecules of Emotion, describes that every emotion (love, joy, peace, anger, frustration, sadness) has a unique neuropeptide associated with it, and our bodies produce that unique neuropeptide by the billions every time we experience a particular emotion.

We become comfortable with our most familiar emotions. If our most familiar emotions are negative emotions, that’s what we’re used to and, in a sense, we become “addicted” to those emotions. If our most familiar emotions are positive emotions, that’s what we become most familiar with, and thus “addicted” to positive emotions.

emotionsThe more the brain perceives the world through the lens of gratitude, the faster the hypothalamus (the control center of the brain) signals to secrete the “positive” neuropeptides that bind to billions of cell receptors throughout the body to produce positive emotions.

The more the brain perceives the world through the lens of threat, loss, pessimism, worry, scarcity, and so on, the faster the hypothalamus signals to secrete “negative” neuropeptides that bind to billions of cell receptors throughout the body and cause the cells to become damaged and more susceptible to disease.

In short:

  • Positive emotions produce positive neurotransmitters, creating a sort of biological “addiction” in our cells—all day, every day—for more positive emotions.
  • Negative emotions produce neurotransmitters that are harmful to our cells, creating a sort of biological “addiction” in our cells—all day, every day—for more negative emotions.

The question to answer is this:

What is your default addiction?

If it’s a positive addiction, congratulations! Research tells us we’ll will live longer, healthier, and happier. If it’s not, the good news is that we can change.

Coaching tip: Engage your clients in “Rewriting Their Story!” A wise person once said “our lives are a reflection of our beliefs.” If there is a part of your life that you are not yet satisfied with, rewrite the beliefs for that part of the story. For example:

  • I am the type of person who regularly makes great decisions in every area of my life—health, business, relationships, finances. I easily see and leverage new opportunities. I easily relate to people who have built multimillion-dollar businesses and both learn from them and offer them value.
  • I tackle my priorities and enjoy getting the right things done in the right order at the right time. I “ride the wave” of uncomfortable emotions when I learn new things and find it an adventure to “not be perfect” when I’m experiencing a learning curve. I model this for others. I am so relaxed in approaching my projects.

What will your new addiction be?!

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Success Questions: Stop Asking This. Start Asking This.

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

In the last few weeks, I’ve had several people ask me these questions:

shutterstock_161072735Do I have what it takes to be successful?

  • Can I make it in coaching?
  • Can I earn as much at coaching as what I’m making in my corporate job?

At the risk of sounding rude, I replied:

“You’re asking the wrong question!”

Over the years, I’ve had a glimpse into the hearts and minds of the people who were asking me these questions. They want to be successful in coaching.

Once people are clear on what they want—“yes, I want this” or “no, I don’t want this”—they should:

  • Stop asking the “can-I-make-it” questions, and
  • Start asking the “how-do-I-make-it” questions

As a side note, an interesting thing happens in our brains with these two types of questions:

“Can-I-make-it” questions can easily trigger the fight-flight response because they are often “code” for these safety-security questions:

  • Am I going to be okay?
  • Am I going to experience pain, embarrassment, financial hardship, etc.?

“How-do-I-make-it” questions might also trigger fight-flight responses, but if we ask with a sense of playfulness and social-oriented curiosity, we can avoid fight-flight-freeze and instead shift to calm-connect-curiosity.

So how do you STOP the “can-I-make-it” questions?

  • First, consider your world view. Do you see the world as a scary place, full of landmines and people who don’t want to help you, don’t want to learn from you, and don’t want to exchange their money for the value you’d bring them? Or do you see the world as a safe place, full of fascinating people, amazing adventures, and astonishing provision?With the latter view, the “can-I-make-it” question becomes irrelevant.
  • Next, take it up a level. What’s your take on God? Is He a cosmic cop, playing hide-and-seek, just waiting to catch you and punish you for doing something bad? Or do you see Him as the loving provider of every need, ready-willing-and-able to guide, support, encourage? Or something completely different?Our world view greatly affects our success view!

Finally, how do you START asking the “how-do-I-make-it” questions?

  • First, be curious. Operate from a place of wonder. Ask, “Who IS doing well at what I want to do?” “What exactly are they doing?” “How did they learn to do what they do?” “What strengths do I possess that will make it easy for me to learn what I need?”Hang out with these people, read about them, coach with them, learn to think like them!
  • Next, be self-compassionate. Tell yourself, “I am learning a new way to think and act. I want to be patient with myself as I not only find these answers but also begin to learn the new skills to implement and master them. It’s okay if I don’t do it perfectly right out of the gate.”Neuroscience studies show that when it comes to motivation, self-compassion works better than beating yourself up!

How about you? What questions do you want to START asking?

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Why We Shouldn’t Say I Should

By Susan Whitcomb | 2 Comments »

shutterstock_70446130

The brain is a sentry, always looking out for danger or oddities in our environment. Danger doesn’t just mean physical threats. It can also mean emotional or intellectual threats. And once a threat is perceived, our autonomic nervous system kicks in with a cortisol rush and we shift into fight-flight-freeze mode.

One of the ways we may unknowingly add threats to our lives is with our self-talk. For example, when we say “I should . . .” we are subtly making ourselves wrong. And when we make ourselves wrong, a chain reaction happens.

I should = I’m wrong.

I’m wrong = fight-flight response

Fight-Flight = cortisol spikes

Cortisol spikes = diminished ability to think creatively

 

In this cycle, we shift from “calm-connect-curiosity” to “cringe-and-condemnation”!

To shift from fight-flight / cringe-and-condemnation mode back into calm-connect-curiosity mode, first, remember to breathe deeply! This brings additional oxygen back to the parts of the brain that can reason.

Then, consider this languaging:

Cringe-Condemnation            Calm-Connect-Curiosity

I should be (present)                      I wonder

I should have (past)                        I’m noticing

If only I had (past)                          I’m aware of

 

In other words, if you’re PRESENTLY saying things like “I should be [working harder, eating less, exercising more, making more networking calls, etc.]”

shift to:

“I wonder [what I might work on that would be most meaningful, what kinds of foods my body really is craving now, how I might get more movement in today, who I’d like to connect with]”

Or, if you’re beating yourself up over PAST “shoulds” such as “I should have worked harder,”

shift your internal dialogue to:

“I’m aware that I could have done more. Next time, I’ll do this differently. I’m grateful that I’m more aware of what works best and what doesn’t.”

What “shoulds” will you be dropping from your vocabulary?! Enjoy!

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Life’s Vice Grip, or Life’s Hugs?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

Have you or your clients ever felt like Life had you in a “vice grip”? A vice grip is something unpleasant that you (or your clients) would love to get out of, and yet you can’t! For example:

  • shutterstock_212341042The uncertainty of how long a job search will last
  • Bills that need paid and not enough money
  • A relationship that’s causing angst
  • A job that is killing you, but feeling like you can’t quit
  • New skills that need mastered without the hope you can learn it all
  • Important projects that need done and not enough time, focus, or energy to finish

The vice grip can feel like an intersection of uncertainty, pain, fear, lack, and loss of control. You want things to change. You want it to be fixed. Or you wonder if it’s possible to be fixed. Or you wonder if anyone even knows what you’re going through, or cares.

Being a student of emotional intelligence, I’ve been acutely aware of how my current vice grip is causing me to react (I’ll skip the details—suffice to say that I can claim several of the bullets above … and I’m probably amongst good company!).

I vacillate between being nervous and scared, then kicking into action to control whatever controllables I can, then back to being nervous and scared, then wondering if things will work out, then back to being nervous and scared, then taking action, etc. It’s a bit of a roller coaster.

shutterstock_97094300In the midst of all of this, I stumbled on an article about why hugs are important. Hugging allows us to relax, and enables us to be more resilient. The writer suggested an exercise, for example, that when a spouse comes home from work, the other spouse should greet the partner with a full-frontal hug—and hold the hug long enough until each feels the other relax. (Absent a spouse, look for a friend, family member, or even a pet to try this out—it works!).

And then I saw a bigger-picture connection. Maybe life’s vice grips are really Life’s full-frontal hugs—circumstances allowed into our lives that cause us to hold tight to our values, tap into our strengths, believe it will all work out . . . and relax.

And like the full-frontal hug exercise, we must hold on until we relax. And with that relaxation, we find the calm-connect and energy-action to meet the possibilities in front of us. With gratitude. With creativity. With perseverance. With love.

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Do You See What I See?

By Susan Whitcomb | No Comments »

shutterstock_138535850My daughter passed along a You Tube video to me recently that really caused me to stop and ponder. Dove (the soap people) hired a talented forensic artist to create sketches of ordinary women based on verbal descriptions only. Separated by a curtain in a loft filled with beautiful light, the artist asked one woman at a time to describe herself. “Tell me about your hair. Tell me about your chin… your jaw … your most prominent feature…,” he asked.

Prior to entering the artist’s loft, each woman had been introduced to another woman—a stranger who was given instructions to simply get to know the person. The stranger, unaware of the sketching experiment, was ushered into the studio a bit later. The artist once again began his questioning to draw a second composite of the original woman, this time from the perspective of the stranger: “Tell me about the woman you just visited with … her hair … her chin … her jaw … her most prominent feature.”

The two sketches were later revealed side by side. In each case, the self-description sketch looked harsh and less attractive, while the stranger’s description was softer, gentler, and more alive. Clearly, the strangers saw a uniqueness and beauty that the women couldn’t see or own.

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If you’re working with clients who see the worst in themselves (and shoot themselves in the foot in the process because of it), consider this coaching idea:

Give your client a comparison assignment: Ask the client to describe him/herself in just 1 word plus and then list 3 of your best professional skills. Next, have the client ask some close friends to “describe me in just 1 word, and then 3 of my best professional skills.” (As a variation, a tool such as the 360Reach can also generate some positive feedback.) If the client operates from a faith-based dimension, ask how a loving and merciful God would describe him/her.

Once the results come in:

  • —  Explore the comparisons.
  • —  More importantly, explore what it would take to “own” the compliments and accolades that come in … or the motives/rationale for not believing the good things that others say.
  • —  Offer “stretch requests” by asking the client to be grateful for those specific attributes!
  • —  shutterstock_131955923Look for ways that the compliments translate into part of the client’s value to employers and gift to the world!

All of these activities can add to your client’s confidence and resiliency!

P.S. Here’s the Dove video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk

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