Several weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about the things I’d do differently if I had it to do all over again. Here is the next installment of what will no doubt be an ongoing series.

Redo #3: I wouldn’t get so down about being down.

Let’s face it. There will be times when we’re up, and there will be times when we’re down. I had one of those ‘down’ days yesterday. Nothing earth-shattering or crisis-like. It was little stuff, like . . .

• I had finished a wonderful fiction book, but then felt sad to say goodbye to my characters and get back to the tasks at hand. (I know, this sounds really wimpy of me!!)
• I’d eaten too much over Thanksgiving and my pants were tight. (I bet I’m not alone!)
• I didn’t get my exercise in, so felt even more sluggish.
• I’d looked at the dollars needed to meet all the December payrolls and thought ‘yikes.’
• I couldn’t think of who to invite for The Academies’ January Thought Leader Forum, and it’s supposed to be announced in today’s newsletter. :/
• I didn’t know what to write about for today’s blog post.

Again, nothing significant, but combined, it was enough to push my buttons. And then I beat myself up with thoughts of “you’re going to gain back all that weight you lost” or “Christmas is a terrible time to try to sell anything that isn’t going under the tree…you’re not going to have enough.”

Anybody relate?

Today, I’m feeling better, although not much is drastically different. The subtle changes:

• I did get my exercise in this morning and that helped oxygenate my brain.
• I gave myself permission to NOT YET know who the January Thought Leader Forum guest will be (anybody have a suggestion!?!).
• I wrote a blog post about what’s REALLY going on in my life, figuring it’s authentic and some of you might relate!
• Lyndsey, bless her heart, sent me (unsolicited) some great ideas for December promotions.
• I guess the main thing that’s different is that I’m thinking differently.

So bottom line: Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not having a super-duper day! When you take the ‘monkey-in-your-mind’ (the Saboteur, the Accuser, or whatever your name for that voice inside your head) out of the equation, it’s a much different scenario.

The freedom from that guilt and condemnation does two important things:

1. It opens up space to see/hear the possibilities and experience optimism/hope . . . and with it,
2. The energy and courage to take the right action.

What are your insights? And, regardless of your up or down status, how will YOU take the right action today?!

In support of your significance and success,

Susan

This is the 4^th and final post in the “S.U.R.E.” acronym for being more persuasive. In my last three posts, I shared the first three factors in the “S.U.R.E.” acronym (developed by my neuro-leadership trainer Tony Pottle, of Time to Be Great, LLC).

We’ve covered “S” for “Simplicity”; “U” for “Unexpected”; and “R” for “Relatedness.”

Remember to think about your own upcoming situation where you would benefit from being more persuasive. Picture the people, the challenge, and the stakes.

Now we’re on to “E” . . .

E = Esteem

Synonymous with confidence, esteem is all about being comfortable with who you are. You are magnificently wired to play a brilliant role in this vast world—there are needs to be met that only you can meet, based on the unique combination of your strengths, experiences, intellect, insights, and passionate pursuits. When this framework is kept in mind, you can present your ideas with an air of expertise and confidence.

Granted, not everyone will respond with enthusiasm to your message. If so, take heart. It’s likely a matter of

• Timing—it’s not yet the right time
• Delivery—the way you deliver your message needs tweaked
• Audience—you need to find a different audience

With that, experiment with your next persuasive encounter:

S = Simplicity

U = Unexpected

R = Relatedness

E = Esteem

I’m “S.U.R.E.” you will succeed in sharing your message!

Interested in learning more of these types of techniques? Our next Certified Career Management Coach program starts Wednesday, November 9^th, and we’ll be talking about some of the latest research that relates to brain-based coaching techniques. Don’t miss it!

In my last two posts, I shared the first and second factor in the “SURE” acronym for being persuasive. Again, kudos to my neuro-leadership trainer Tony Pottle, of Time to Be Great, LLC, who shared this with me. We covered “S” for “Simplicity” and “U” for “Unexpected” already.

Remember to think about your own upcoming situation where you would benefit from being more persuasive.

Picture the people, the challenge, and the stakes.

Now we’re on to “R” . . .

R = Relatedness

Relatedness refers to:

• Expressing empathy or interest,
• Looking out for the interests of others,
• Connecting with others, and
• Sharing commonalities

Perhaps the best-known saying is “walk a mile in my moccasins.”

As coaches, we can demonstrate relatedness by being empathetic to people’s pain—their job loss, their disappointment over an offer not coming through, their frustration about having to network when they don’t want to, and so on.

Job seekers can show relatedness by following up with a networking contact and offering an interesting article or fact. It might even be remembering someone’s kid’s birthday. You get the picture!

To be more persuasive, how can you increase your “relatedness” to your listener(s)?

(And don’t forget the first two items—Simplicity and Unexpected!)

Interested in learning more of these types of techniques? Our next Certified Career Management Coach program starts Wednesday, November 9^th, and we’ll be talking about some of the latest research that relates to brain-based coaching techniques. Don’t miss it!

In my last post, I shared the first factor in the “SURE” acronym for being persuasive. Again, kudos to my neuro-leadership trainer Tony Pottle, of Time to Be Great, LLC, who shared this with me. We covered “S” for “Simplicity” last time.

Remember to think about your own upcoming situation where you would benefit from being more persuasive. Picture the people, the challenge, and the stakes.

Now we’re on to “U” . . .

U = Unexpected

Interestingly, if the brain is not expecting something, it pays greater attention. Humor is a great tool to deliver the unexpected. Most humor is funny because something happened that you were not expecting or hadn’t made a connection about before.

Another way to leverage the unexpected is through actions—more specifically positive actions. In a study conducted by neuro-researcher Dr. Strohmetz at Monmouth University, a waiter in a high-end restaurant delivered customers’ bills to four different test groups. In the control group, customers were handed the bill with nothing else. In a second group, the waiter brought a piece of candy with the bill. In the third group, they were given two pieces of candy upon presentation of the bill. In a fourth group, they were given one piece of candy and, as the waiter was walking away, he would turn around as if he’d changed his mind and say, “I’m going to give you two!” Compared to the control group, the customers in the fourth group tipped 23% higher than the control group, apparently because of that unexpected gesture. The second group tipped only 14.1% higher.

The lesson to be learned? Do something extra and unexpected.

For example, during an interview, a job seeker’s “unexpected” item might be to take advantage of a white board nearby and stand up and draw out points or ideas on the board. Because the listener’s (interviewer’s) brain was not expecting this action, it will cause the brain to be more attentive.

Or, if you’re an entrepreneur looking to solidify an agreement with a new customer, your “unexpected” item might be offering them a little bonus item, or sending them an interesting article link that is relevant to their needs (even if it’s something personal that relates to something they’ve mentioned about family, pets, etc.).

One of the “unexpecteds” I sometimes share with people are blessings that I write out, either on hand-made cards or via email. For example: “May you know peace and provision today, in every area of your life. May you be filled with the certainty that you are destined to do significant things in this world. May you intersect with people who will support you, stretch you, and expand your influence. May you serve others selflessly, and in those acts, find rewards that are exceedingly beyond all you could ask or imagine.”

Here’s my unexpected that I’d like to share with you: it’s a neat little site that Tony Pottle introduced me to, called My Brain Solutions – solutions to optimize your brain!

Your turn! What “unexpected” will you include as you persuade with poise? (And don’t forget the first item—Simplicity!)

Interested in learning more of these types of techniques? Our next Certified Career Management Coach program starts Wednesday, November 9^th, and we’ll be talking about some of the latest research that relates to brain-based coaching techniques. Don’t miss it!

Let’s face it. You and I need to be persuasive in order to be successful. And so do our clients—they will never land a job, win a promotion, or achieve their dreams if they don’t have the buy-in and support of others.

In a recent study session I had with neuro-leadership trainer Tony Pottle, of Time to Be Great, LLC, I learned a helpful acronym called “S.U.R.E.” that Tony developed. It en“sures” you can be effective at persuading others in an ethical and effective manner.

Before I unfold this acronym, think of an upcoming situation where you would benefit from being more persuasive. Picture the people, the challenge, and the stakes.

With that in mind, here’s the FIRST installment (the “S” in SURE) on how you can SURE-ly be persuasive! (Watch for the remaining three—U, R, and E—in the next few days!)

S = Simplicity

Persuasive communication must be succinct and specific to make it as easy as possible on your listener’s prefrontal cortex (the PFC, which we use for understanding, is wired with limited capacity and easily distracted!).

Persuasive communication must also be generous. If too succinct and specific, we can sound cold and harsh.

For example, if you were to be succinct and specific with a client, you might say: “You must network to find a job. You’ll need to talk to people, find out what their needs are, and then offer solutions.”

By adding generous language, the delivery changes to “Successful candidates win at networking by connecting with decision-makers, clarifying what needs accomplished, and collaborating on how you can be the solution.”

Note, also, that the last three items illustrate the “tricolon”—the use of threes in speaking, which the brain responds to and remembers.

So if you’re looking to be persuasive, how will you apply this “Simplicity” model to your communications? (I’m laughing at myself because I rewrote this post three times to try and make it as “simple” as possible!!)

Interested in learning more of these types of techniques? Our next Certified Career Management Coach program starts Wednesday, November 9^th, and we’ll be talking about some of the latest research that relates to brain-based coaching techniques. Don’t miss it!

Our surroundings and environment make a world of difference! This picture shows flowers purchased on the same date–the ones in the front were planted within days of purchase; the ones in the back stayed in their original pony-pack (long story, from which I’ll spare you). Two weeks later, you can see a world of difference.

Both sets started out with little to no blooms, like the ones in the back of the picture (honestly, can you count any blooms but one?!). The ones in the foreground were planted in soil that I carefully sifted through, pulled weeds from (yikes, my manicure! why didn’t I wear gloves?), and watered thoroughly before planting. The ones in the background had to stay in their original constricted, plastic packaging.

The result? Obvious. The ones in the better soil are flourishing. The ones in the bad environment grew a bit taller, but didn’t bear any blooms, or “fruit.”

And, of course, it made me think about my own surroundings. Are we sitting in, physically speaking, constrictive spaces that are cluttered and disorganized? Or, on a grander scale, purposefully speaking, are we sitting in spaces that restrict our ability to flourish at work and bring blessing and beauty to others?

It took me all of 15 minutes to plant my woe-be-gone, left-behind flowers. I’ll bet you that in less than a week, they will look as healthy as the rest of them.

What’s the quick fix you could do for your environment today?

• Maybe it’s a simple 15-minute clutter-cleanup or to dump some tolerations.
• Maybe it’s a 15-minute quiet time to revisit where you’re headed and what you want to accomplish in this world.

Let me know what you do with your 15 minutes!

To your significance and success,

Susan

P.S. If you liked this ‘insight moment,’ we’ll be talking about how to create them for your clients at The Academies Virtual Bootcamp ‘Coaching Day,’ coming up November 4th. You can learn more here: The Academies’ Virtual Bootcamp – Join us!

We had quite the activity next door recently. Our entire family awakened to the sound of metal crunching at 4am on a Saturday morning. We all went back to sleep, too lazy to get up and investigate. When I heard the sound of a siren winding down about 10 minutes later, I thought, “I’d better go see what, indeed, happened.”

As I looked outside the front window, I saw the complete complement of emergency vehicles: fire truck, ambulance, sheriff’s cars, Fresno PD. My husband and I went out to see what on earth had happened. It turns out that a young man, age 26, was driving down our very quiet, very narrow neighborhood street at 70-80 mph. After running a stop sign some 100 feet before our house, the dip from the intersection that he blew through caused him to lose control of his car. He veered into my next-door neighbor’s beautifully landscaped yard, hitting a 2,000-lb boulder the size of a small car. On impact, he popped that boulder about 20 feet forward (unbelievable), rolled his big Chevy SUV (that’s the underside of the car in the picture), and killed himself instantly.

As the sun came up a few hours later, several neighbors had gathered outside to discuss the tragedy. It was then that a revelation came to light that caused me to shudder. Examining the tread marks on the street, analyzing where the car hit the boulder, where the boulder bounced to (if boulders can bounce), and the trajectory of the car brought tears to my eyes.

Big boulder on left ‘bounced’ 20 feet

Were it not for the boulder, that speeding car would have found a very different stopping point—the middle of my daughter’s bedroom. It was a sobering thought. At that moment, I sensed God’s voice (not audible, but impressionistic) that said, “I knew this would happen … I caused that boulder to be put there years ago for her protection.”

Introspection followed, and I pondered the boulders we all encounter in life. . .

• Sometimes the boulders feel like roadblocks—big and impossible to move or get around, keeping us from the things that we want. Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon professor who died of pancreatic cancer and authored the bestseller “Last Lecture” describes that the brick walls (i.e., boulders) in our lives are there to determine how much we really want something. What efforts will we go through to get through or around those walls? What key skills and character will be built as a result of the effort?

• In some cases, boulders may be a point of guidance—something there to cause you to veer to the left or the right instead of in the direction you were headed.

• Boulders can also be put in place by us, as a point of memorial of some sort—a remembrance of a milestone or, as in the Old Testament, a testimony of God’s faithfulness.

• And, sometimes the boulders are there to protect us. In our family’s case recently, the latter was certainly true.

In any case, bless the boulders in your life . . . and may you know discernment in what form they take, how to negotiate them and/or how to honor them.

To your success and significance!

I love milestones. It’s cause to look back and take pleasure in the progress, learn from the mis-steps, and plan for the future. Although I’ve been an entrepreneur for a couple of decades in total (wow, that makes me feel old!), this year marked the 10^th year that our company has focused on training coaches … coaches who would be the catalysts to change the world, one life at a time, whether in people’s career management or job search endeavors, their social media savvy, their growth as a leader or executive, their depth as a human being, their contributions to their employers, communities, world . . . and more. I love our mission!

As I thought about the past, Lyndsey asked me if I could find some old pictures of me. I realize I haven’t been great about organizing my pictures, but I did come up with a few, the earliest from my high school graduation (thanks, Mom, for digging that one up), and a few circa the late 80’s and mid 90’s, to present day. (Ha! I noticed that all these pictures managed to get me at my lower weights … I guess I avoided the camera when the scale was not in my favor! Anybody relate?)

My reminiscence led me to thinking what I would do differently if I had it to do all over again. Do you ever wonder the same? Imagine we’re at the end of our lives, sitting down over coffee or tea, and looking back with 20-20 vision. I came up with my list, and will share just two  ideas here.

1. Get … ummm, make that … Ask for Help Sooner

The curse of the introvert (especially the feeling-typed introvert), in my humble opinion, is that we get lost in our thoughts and tripped up by our aversion to imposing on others. In my head, these tapes play: “I’m sure I’ll be able to figure this out on my own … I don’t want to bother him … If I ask for help, they’ll lose their confidence in me … ” and so on.

As I’ve mellowed over the years, I’ve learned that two (or more) heads are better than one. This truth was acutely driven home when I coauthored, with Chandlee Bryan and Deb Dib, The Twitter Job Search Guide. Not only were there three heads working on that project, there were some 100 total who helped crowd-source the book, from featured chapter contributors to tweet-tip contributors. What a joy that was, and what a success as it was nominated for awards and won CDI’s Career Innovator award.

Collaborating with others doesn’t need to be reserved for big projects, like writing a book. There are days when I pick up the phone and call Lyndsey Lehman, The Academies VP of Operations, just to talk through a small project. In the discussion, new ideas come up, or Lyndsey shares a great idea, or I come up with another idea.

If I had it to do over again, I’d reach out sooner and to more people. The sparks that come from coming together are irreplaceable. I’ll be so bold as to say that you CANNOT ever do as well on your own as you could with a passel of passionate and talented people by your side.

(I’d be quite remiss at this point if I didn’t give a shout-out to team members beyond Lyndsey—Katy Kotman in Student Services, and Marcy Pusey in Web/Social Media, as well as the thought leaders who are currently associated with The Academies in curriculum design, instruction, and advisory roles: Beverly Harvey, Kim Avery, Deb Dib, Chandlee Bryan, Jason Alba, Barbara Safani, Pat Schuler, Elisabeth Sanders-Park, Bryan Lubic, Kit Prendergast.)

Next on the list . . .

2. Ease Up on Your Timelines.

Have you ever imposed a deadline on yourself for getting something done? For example, “I’ll have my Facebook Fan Page done by Friday, the 18^th” or “I’ll get that ebook written by the end of the month.” And when I don’t make the deadline, the monkey-in-my-mind has a field day criticizing me and making me feel guilty.

Don’t get me wrong. I am all for goals and getting things done. But, often those goals aren’t realistic for the time it really takes to get stuff done. Allow yourself time to deal with unexpecteds: a friend drops by to chat, an elderly family member who needs care/attention, dinner that takes longer than normal to cook, a child who needs help with homework, the bump on your leg that’s gotten infected and requires yet another doctor’s visit, the dog that poops inside the house and there’s a mess to clean up … you get the picture. (Hey, that’s my list from just the past week!)

What can happen when we get into a habit of setting deadlines and missing them? Our brain creates a ‘map’ that says ‘you don’t make your deadlines.’ And that becomes the norm. We teach ourselves to miss deadlines.

If I had it to do over again, I’d give myself estimates and ranges of time, instead of hard-n-fast deadlines. Think of all the time and grief you’ll save yourself when you don’t have to beat yourself up for missing the deadline! Allow yourself “unexpecteds” time, as I mentioned above. And allow yourself “gel” time—time to let things percolate in your subconscious, especially for writing projects or big decisions. Allow yourself time to not yet know the answer, tho’ trust that the answer will come.

That’s just two of more than a dozen on my list. I’m starting to feel a book coming on, or at least a series of posts on this topic. Keep a watch out for them. =)

In the meantime, what would YOU do differently in your business if you had it to do all over again?!

Now, the challenge is to DO.IT.TODAY!

Enjoying the journey with you,

Susan

I just finished a mentor coaching call with an MBA Career Services Coach who had a great insight that I just had to pass along to you.

One of the techniques in coaching is to take the “I” out of the conversation. In other words, rather than say “I’d like to know more about your dream job?” a coach might say, “Say more about what your dream job would look like!”

As the MBA coach was considering this technique, he mentioned, “I’ve noticed how self-centered my language has been until starting to take this coaching course.”

He isn’t alone. I have to raise my hand on this one, as well. Most of us enter a traditional conversation from a 50-50 perspective, meaning 50% of the conversation is about the other person and 50% about you. In coaching, that ratio should be more like 80-20, meaning 80% of the conversation is about the other person and 20% is still NOT about you, but about the ideas you can add to the conversation that would expand the client’s ideas, insights, or resources.

Note: I use the term “self-centered” loosely—I know that as coaches you are not self-centered; I refer to “self-centered” simply in terms of to whom the conversation is pointing. Does it point back to you and your agenda or does it point to the client and his/her agenda? It’s the latter we’re after in coaching.

Here are a few before-and-after Self-centered vs. Client-centered examples:

• Self-centered: “That’s my alma mater too! I was there from 1989-1992.”
  Client-centered: “Nice to meet a fellow Tarheel! What’d you enjoy most about that experience?”

• Self-centered: “Tell me why you want to get your MBA?”
  Client-centered: “What will getting your MBA bring to you?”
• Self-centered: “I’d like you to do 5 informational interviews this week.”
  Client-centered: “What would be a stretch for you on the number of informational interviews you could do this week?
• Self-centered: “I want to schedule a follow-up call so I can get to know you better.”
  Client-centered: “Let’s schedule that follow-up call we talked about and, during that time, make sure your direction and strategy is really solid.”

What do you notice in these before-and-after Self-centered vs. Client-centered comments and questions? How can you be more client-centered today?

Do you want to help others accomplish more than they can imagine? Coaching can make it happen … for you and your clients. Hundreds of Academies grads have learned how with coach certification training: more info here on our upcoming September program!

To your continued success and significance!

My 'Baby' Brother Doug!

I drove a big rig this weekend! Here’s how it happened. I visited family in my hometown in rural Central California, where I grew up on a farm. My family still farms cotton, cantaloupes, and other crops in the area. My brother Doug Britton has a trucking company there, with 10 trucks that haul almonds, grain, liquid fertilizer and more.

I was asking him about his business and conversation eventually turned to “Would you like to sit in one of the trucks?” I said “Sure!” It was quite a task to even climb up and get in the cab!

Next thing I knew, I had an offer to drive one–a big, huge 18-wheeler . . . 25,000 pounds worth. It was thrilling. But I was scared to DEATH! My brother had more confidence in me than I did, but he stood right by me as I drove (albeit 5 miles an hour) around his equipment yard.

And, of course, there’s a coaching lesson to be learned in all this. Part of the reason I was so scared is that my brother asked me to do more than my little brain could handle all at once! If I were just driving straight, I think I could’ve handled it. But at the end, he also wanted me to return the truck to its original position. That meant negotiating a tight turn, lining up my set of trailers 65 feet long, and sandwiching the truck back in between two other trucks. I had barely 24 inches of clearance on either side. Yikes!

What I learned as a coach was this: If you’re asking a client to do something new–something that’s scary to them–

• Stand nearby (just like my brother did with me, ready to help adjust the steering wheel at any moment)
• Break tasks down into small steps (ask them to “drive straight first” before requesting something complicated like turning, aligning their trailers, and squeezing into a small space! For example, if networking makes clients nervous, start with easy networking experiences, then stretch to tougher situations.)
• Be confident (without my brother’s confidence in me, I would never have tackled driving a big rig … and now I’ve got ‘bragging rights’ to say ‘I did it!’)

Do you want to help others accomplish more than they can imagine? Coaching can make it happen … for you and your clients. Hundreds of Academies grads have learned how with coach certification training: more info here on our upcoming September program!