As parents of a (terrific!) teenager, my husband and I want to be intentional about our parenting processes. Like all good parents, we want continued growth in our daughter’s capacity to problem solve and make decisions. It struck me that some of the skills we’re trying to develop in ourselves to be better parents are also skills that can be used with our clients.
Here’s a three-step process, gleaned from my parenting insights, that can be used with clients:
Involve the client: Avoid the “master-and-commander” approach and adopt the “supporter-and-collaborator” approach. Rather than, “You need to do x, y, z” it might sound like this with your client:
- “Jane, let’s brainstorm this together.”
- Or, “John, what are your thoughts about how to develop contacts at your target companies?”
- Or, “What have you done in the past that’s worked well?”
This approach engages the client’s thinking to have ownership in the process.
Develop options: I am personally working on seeing more options than what is in front of my nose, and I want the same for my clients (and my daughter!). Options make us feel like we have choices. Choices make us feel empowered. No options, no empowerment!
- Ask your client, “What are three different paths to get there?”
- Or, if mindset is more germane to your conversation, ask, “What are three different perspectives on that situation?”
- Or, if you’re looking to expand the possibilities, substitute the word “possibilities”: “What are three different possibilities for this?”
Let the client choose: How many of you have had fantastic success with telling your teenagers (or spouse, family member, or friend) what to do? Probably not much! The same holds true for the people we coach. Though our clients may enjoy asking for our advice, they are rarely as eager to follow it! So remember to leave the final choices up to the client.
- Ask, “Which of these options would be the best choice?”
- Or, “Which of these would stretch you in a good way?”
- Or, “How will you know which is the best choice?”
- Or, “What option would you be willing to experiment with this coming week?”
Finally, don’t try to mitigate potential consequences for your clients, or bail them out, or do everything for them. The learning that comes from the doing is just as important as the doing!
Interested in learning more of these types of techniques? Our next Certified Career Management Coach program starts Tuesday, May 15, and we’ll be talking about some of the latest research that relates to brain-based coaching techniques. Don’t miss it!